Tuesday, April 23, 2013

On Finding Peace and Being Thankful

I can hardly believe that it has only been a week since the Boston bombings. For me, this past week has felt like an eternity. I thought that the moment I landed at the local airport that things would get back to normal but it has taken me longer than I had anticipated to sort through my feelings. In the course of this week, I've gone through feelings of fear, helplessness, anger, sadness, anticipation and determination just to name a few. After getting back home last week, I could not focus or think of anything else. It consumed me for days. I could not peel myself away from the news coverage. I was looking for some sort of closure.

Over the weekend, I attended a memorial service for a coworker/friend that had past away last week while I was in Boston. At the service I morned deeply for him and for everyone that was harmed last Monday. I had been holding it in all week. All my tears just flowed out. And when I was done, I was ready to let them go.

I was overjoyed to see my family as I had not seen them since my return. My sister and brother-in-law cooked a Thanksgiving dinner. I gave thanks in April because I had so much to be thankful for.

I bit into this cookie and it was so good that it made me smile and these days I'm looking for any excuse to smile.

I enjoyed one of my parents' amazing home cooked meals!

We celebrated my sister's birthday!

Last night, I went to a Tribute Run for Boston at the Long Beach bike path organized by friend Pam and Monica. Thank you to everyone who attended. Sharing that run with you meant so much to me. It was like taking that last piece of bandage off my once broken heart and battered spirit.

Photo borrowed from friend Pam

Coming back home to loved ones, friends and everyone in my local running community has really helped me find my normal again. Things will never really be the same but they will be better. I will cherish all the moments more than ever that I will get to share with everyone who has touched my life. In my last post, I wrote that I was not ready to write about my Boston experience but that isn't really true because I did write it all down. I wrote in my hotel room the day I got back from the race and the days following. The words have already been written and one day I will post it here.  


giraffy said...

I don't normally do this, but next time I see you, I might just give you a hug.

Pam said...

So much I want to say to you... I'll save most of it for when I see you again. *Hopefully*, sooner than later.

First, I want to tell you for the 100th time your niece is so precious. I love that your family made a Thanksgiving dinner in the month of April. :) Happy be-lated birthday to your sister! Your parents sure know how to throw it down. Everything looks delicious. :)

I know what you mean about finding your "normal" again. That's how I felt when I came home. Guilt & sadness were paramount. I didn't allow myself to feel joy for running a dumb marathon. It felt so insignificant. I'm happy that you're feeling better. It's okay to feel sad but, let's not let it linger. We can find the positive even in the worst situations. It was wonderful to see the support of the other runners that came out. We're strong & resilent. Have a great week my friend! Sending you positive vibes to you & "M!" xo